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I’ll have a Shirley Temple Please

Last night I got a call for a Thursday night out. The occasion was that my friend from NYC was in town doing some work so naturally we had to get the old crew together. It ended up being a weird sarging night with some high points and some very pathetic low points. Here is what transpired.

We decided to hit up a small bar downtown. It is usually a hoping place with many many fine women. With this decision, I thought I should take advantage of doing some pick up artist practice that night before meeting up with my friends.

I left for the bar early with the intent of sarging for a good half hour to an hour before my friends would arrive. When I showed up the place was indeed filled with beautiful women, however, it was also filled with tons of dudes as well. No matter, most of the guys seemed pretty AFCish anyways.

I walked in dressed in my stylish Thursday night garb feeling confident, walking tall and smiling at any hot babe that crossed my path.

OK, time for the first set, 3, 2, 1, go. I approach the corner of the bar where there is a woman sitting by herself with two green drinks sitting in front of her. She is neither pretty nor ugly but it’s not important I had to get this first one out of the way. The other drink in front of her indicated that she was not alone, I had to work fast. Shit, I get interrupted by the bartender who asks if I want a drink. I quickly say I’ll have a Sam’s. I turn towards the woman about to deliver my “ecto-cooler” opener when a dude swoops in from nowhere to divide me from my target.

I decide not to let the dude deter my plan. I address the two of them at once, “Hey, that’s a weird drink, what is it?” The man answers that it is a midori sour. I say to them, “It looks kind of like ecto-cooler koolaid! Do you remember that drink?” He replies that he does remember it then turns to ignore me. The woman who’s face had not cracked a smile the whole night had brightened up at my comments. She was clearly ready to be entertained as her male friend was doing a terrible job. The man who probably new my intentions quickly squashed the woman’s fun by dragging her to another location in the bar. The set had blown out.

For some reason this first set had put me out of state. My confidence was starting to slide. I was rattled for some reason and my plan to open a bunch of sets no longer seemed doable. I sat down near the bar, drank my beer and wasted several perfect opportunities to approach. I did not open any other sets until my friends arrived.

Luckily, I have such great friends, that as soon as they entered asked me why I wasn’t already hitting on the ladies. I give them some poor excuse that they won’t accept. They reassure me that I am “the man” and tell me to start approaching. This is just what I needed, a little nudge in the right direction.

I immediately grab the first hot waitress (HBlegs) walking by and say that my friends need some drinks. She takes their orders and asks for mine in which I calmly reply, “I’ll have a Shirely Temple please.” The look on her face was priceless, she was stunned.

HBlegs: Are you serious?!
Savage: yea
HBlegs: really? you want a Shirley Temple?
Savage: yes
HBlegs: you realize there is no alcohol in it?
Savage: oh well, maybe you can spice it up a bit for me
HBlegs: what do you mean? add alcohol to it?
Savage: use your imagination. surprise me.
HBlegs: ok (she leaves with a big grin on her face)

As HBlegs is leaving my friends crack up laughing at my antics. She comes back rather quickly, about five minutes later with our drinks. She approaches with the same grin on her that she had left with.

HBlegs: ok, here is your Shirley Temple
Savage: ah yes, it looks tasty
HBlegs: that will be six dollars
Savage: What! Six dollars for a Shirley Temple! (said smiling and in a playful way)
HBlegs: well, the price goes up when you add vodka
Savage: jeeeesh, maybe we should have left the vodka out then
HBlegs: no, trust me it’s more fun this way:)

I pay her and she leaves still grinning.

I was very pleased with my interaction with HBlegs as it would set the stage for flirting with her the rest of the night.

Now, in a much better state, me and my buddies hit the dance floor. We attempted to dance with the many hot sultry females. I made it a point to always be dancing while on the dance floor. It was important for me not to become a lurker (a guy who just stands on the outside of the dance floor staring and drooling). I ended up dancing with only one girl who at first seemed into it but for some reason her attitude changed and she left.

I was disappointed in myself. My dance game is normally pretty good and can usually hook at least several females into some sort of seductive dancing. The only thing that kept me from falling into a pit of despair was having fun with my friends and the frequent visits by HBlegs asking if I was ready for another Shirley Temple:)

Towards the end of the night, I had one last encounter with HBlegs. She had just served me my final Shirley Temple when I persuaded her dance with me. She did.

Savage: hey, how about we got out for Shirley Temples sometime when your not working?
HBlegs: (smiles) your cute (and she leaves)

Not quite the outcome I had wanted but at least the night wasn’t a complete disaster. My friends were tired and so was I. We left the bar and I got a ride home from my buddy.

Though there was some good vibing with HBlegs, I really did need to open more sets. Gaming waitresses is kind of a wussy way to sarge. They are paid to interact and be friendly with the customers so it is obviously much easier to interact with them. I’ll be going out again tonight. Enough of this bullshit. It is time to man up and go down in flames.

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